Donnerstag, 8. September 2011

35 Millionen für den Besuch vom Papst ???

08.09.2011

He is back ... jaaaa, Lady Gaga ist zurück und glauben Sie mir, dass spätestens jetzt geklärt ist, dass sich hinter der Lady ein Herr Gaga verbirgt ...

Sie haben doch bestimmt auch schon die ungeschminkten Fotos der Lady gesehen, welche so weit von einer Lady entfernt ist, wie Naddel oder Tatjana Gsell. Gemunkelt wurde es ja schon immer, dass sich hinter der Fassade die Reinkarnation von Mary & Gordy befindet aber bestritten wurde es bis Dato immer. Auch die Tatsache das bei einem Konzert schon einmal eine Glocke aus dem Rock gerutscht ist, hat die Vermutungen des ES angeheizt aber seit gestern wissen wir es ganz genau ... Oder haben Sie schon irgend wann im Leben eine Frau mit derartigen Kotletten gesehen?

Überhaupt ist da in der Promiwelt einiges los, denn bei Celine Dion im Haus hat einer es sich in der Badewanne gemütlich machen wollen und den Kühlschrank geplündert ...

Da merkt man doch schon in der ersten Sekunde des Lesens dieser Meldung, dass da etwas nicht stimmen kann, denn bei dem Untergewicht der Sängerin hat nicht einmal eine Milbe nur den Hauch einer Überlebenschance. Liebe Ganoven und sonstige Gestalten die gerne die Immobilien der Promis aufsuchen: Bei den Damen Celine Dion, Victoria Beckham, Angelina Jolie & Kate Middleton lohnt sich der Einbruch nun wirklich nicht, wenn es Sie hungert und dürstet. Die fette Beute machen Sie bei Dany de Vito, Meat Loaf, Jack Nicholson und wenn Sie eine Vorliebe für Eiweissdrinks haben, dann tut es auch die Kühlkammer vom Terminator.

Angela Merkel hat jetzt den Freischein für die europäische Spendengala von den Richtern erhalten und ab jetzt darf die Kohle unter den armen Manianas verteilt werden. Und der Papst steht bald hier vor der Tür und dieser Besuch soll um die 35 Millionen kosten. Sagen Sie mal, fliegt Ihnen da nicht auch die Hutschnur hoch?



Was kostet so ein Ticket von Rom nach München, Frankfurt, Köln oder Düsseldorf ... eine Stunde der Flug, mit Steuern und dem Übergepäck in der Economy Class ... so für 100 EUR müsste man den Chef der pädophilen Truppe doch wohl in den berlinischen Airflieger bekommen, dann noch das Taxi zum Hotel oder von mir aus auch einen Pick-Up, wo man den alten Mann einfach mit dem Küchenstuhl auf die Ladefläche packt, damit dieser Winkie-Winkie machen kann. Dann das Hotel ... jaja, den kann man doch nicht in einer Pension unterbringen und mindestens benötigt dieser ein King-Size-Bett ... sollte sein Sekretär mitfliegen. Aber dafür gibt es ja diese Komplettangebote der amerikanischen Hotelketten und zwar sogar mit Vollpension. Oder noch besser ... der oberste Mann der katholischen heiligen Kirche schläft in einem Kloster und macht sich mal vor Ort ein Bild von dem Treiben der wilden Kutten. Für den Wechsel zwischen den Städten gibt es doch das altbewährte Interail-Ticket oder diverse andere öffentliche Verkehrsmittel. Dann wäre der Papst auch viel näher am Volk und könnte einmal hören, was das Volk so von ihm und seiner Unternehmung hält. Alles in allem kostet der ganze Kladeradatsch dann so um die 1000 EUR würde ich mal sagen, oder?

Also bitte liebe Katholiken ... die Opfer des großen Skandal der Fummelei werden mit 5000 EUR Schmerzensgeld abgespeist und der alte Knabe will mal eben für 35 Millionen in dieses Land reisen?
Ach ist es nicht herrlich, in welcher Doppelmoral sich dieser Verein immer verkauft und noch immer ein Schüppchen drauf legt, wenn das Feuer schon längst brennt ...

Stefan Raab hat sogar eine Schlagzeile an diesem Tag ... da sieht man einmal mehr, dass wir zwar meteorologisch keinen Sommer haben aber trotzdem die Löcher des Sommerlochs mit jedem Schmarn gestopft werden können.


Ja wer will denn schon auch von diesem Herrn angerufen werden, wenn er noch einigermaßen klar im Kopf ist?

Das ist doch schon der verzweifelte Kampf eines untergehenden Sternes am Comedienhimmel und eigentlich reicht es doch völlig aus, wenn sich Ingo Appel und er untereinander anrufen. Oder noch besser ... rufen Sie doch einfach den Herrn Dr. von und zu Hirschhausen an, denn dieser bewegt sich doch auf dem gleichen kommödiantischen Level genn Null. Abe seit dem gestrigen Tag ist wieder Licht am Horizont zu erkennen, denn Gaby Köster ist zurück ...

Man mag ja denken über diese Frau was man will und natürlich frage auch ich mich, ob diese verfilzten Haare auf dem Kopf sein müssen aber der Humor von ihr ist einfach unschlagbar und glauben Sie mir, das Comeback ist ein Schlag in das Gesicht der bunten Blätter, denn jetzt hat Frau Köster erst einmal bestättigt, dass sie in den letzten drei Jahren seit ihrem Schlaganfall kein einziges Interview gegeben hat und das alles was uns da für teures Geld verkauft wurde, aus den Fingern und anderen Körperteilen gesaugt worden war. Was soll man dazu noch sagen, als schlicht und ergreifend ein herzliches Willkommen unter den Lebenden auszusprechen ...

Ist Ihnen auch aufgefallen, dass seit die Nachricht um die Welt eilte, dass Victoria von Schweden jetzt zu den gefüllten Täubchen gehört und Vater Carl endlich die Karten aus dem Rotlichtmilieu auf den royalen Tisch gelegt hat, es verdammt ruhig um Victoria & Daniel the Wrestler geworden ist?



Richten diese etwa schon das Kinderzimmer ein und sind bei dem Kauf der Erstausstattung oder werden da derzeit die alten Kleidchen von Victoria und dem Schwesterherz vom Dachboden geholt, um diese in die chemische Reinigung zu geben?

Erst machen einen die Medien heiß und dann läßt man den Wissensdurst am langen Arm der Neugierde verhungern. Ja, ich will wissen ob Victoria eine Morgenübelkeit hat, wo sie diese doch schon vor Jahren auf den Tag ausgedehnt hat ... Sie erinnern sich noch an ihre Magersucht und das Märchen vom Retter auf der Hantel?

Der Daniel soll sie ja damals aus diesem Teufelskreis des Essens & Brechens rausgeholt haben und wenn dieser Prinz der Fitnessbude nicht gewesen wäre, dann hätte Schweden eine ganz andere Reihenfolge der Thronbesteigung ...

Habe ich Ihnen eigentlich schon einmal eine Witz über dieses Medium gesendet ... nein oder doch?

Egal, ich habe da einen kleinen Schwank aus der Welt der Witze, der mich den ganzen Morgen zu einem innerlichen Kicherkanninchen macht ...

Ein maskierter und bewaffneter Bankräuber stürzt an den Schalter in  einer Bank, wo ein Ehepaar gerade seine letzten Flocken vom Konto holen möchte  und bemerkt derweil, dass seine Maske verrutscht ist. Hastig zupft er diese zurecht, schubst das Ehepaar an die Seite und fragt den Kassierer mit der gezückten Waffe, ob dieser ihn erkannt hat?

"Ja", antwortet dieser und der Bankräuber erschiesst darauf hin. Er dreht sich zur Seite zu dem Ehepaar und fragt diese, ob sie ihn auch erkannt hätten?

"Nein", sagt der Mann ich nicht aber meine Frau hat sie erkannt" ...

Doch, der ist gut und da können Sie über Witze denken was sie wollen aber es gibt schon gute Einlagen aus der Welt des Humors ... OK noch einen:

Die Gattin sitzt am Samstagabend vor dem Fernseher und verfolgt aufmerksam die Ziehung der Lottozahlen, während ihr Mann sich in der oberen Etage befindet. Auf einmal springt diese auf und stürzt in das Treppenhaus und ruft nach Oben zum Gatten: "Schaaatz, Schatz, komm schnell runter ... wir haben 6 Richtige mit Zusatzzahl!"

Der Gatte eilt herbei, nimmt im Schweinsgalopp drei Stufen auf einmal und stürzt derart unglücklich, dass er an Ort und Stelle sofort verstirbt.

Die Frau steht an der Treppe und sagt: "Mensch, wenn man einmal Glück hat, dann reist dieses aber nicht ab."

Ach hören Sie doch auf, wie oft haben Sie sich denn diese Situation nicht schon gewünscht, wenn Sie nach drei Stunden des Hemdenbügelns den Gatten im Unterhemd vor der Glotze vorgefunden haben und dieser Sie um das Kredenzen des nächsten Bieres gebeten hat ...

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